Dear woman @Tasha. M.
Updated: Apr 2, 2021
I’m sorry that you have been made to feel as though your humanity is a second hand citizen based on what you have to offer.
I’m sorry that you are made to feel voiceless, weak and inferior by a society that chooses to actively work against you.
I’m sorry that from the beginning of time you’ve been progressively made to feel inferior to men, from a domesticated, obedient wife; a prisoner to your husband or partner, to just a piece of sexualised meat.
Society has belittled you to nothing. Society has said you will never be loved if you don’t have a big bum or big boobs, clear skin, long hair, long eyelashes, with a surgically enhanced looking body at age 11, 12, 13.
Society has robbed you of yourself, it has taken your freedom. I can’t keep saying society as if it’s not made up of individual people, us; men and women. We are responsible for the position we are in and the position we could be in and it’s not just up to men. I know I’m not the only woman who’s heard a female teacher in primary ask for a strong helper and only pick the boys. In reality, women are strong, and they definitely don’t get the credit for that. At times they don’t even get the chance to show their strength because society wants to imprison them in this confined box called woman. Inside this box is everything a woman should be, but the box is just another way to suppress the radiance women really possess.
I feel like being a woman is a conversation society is not ready for, but ready or not, these conversations need to be had. Let’s talk about the lack of freedom we have as women. Freedom is safety, unapologetic expression, walking in the streets without being in fear of being assaulted. We cannot fully experience life because we are scared that someone will force themselves onto us. We cannot walk past a group of boys; we feel the need to cross the road. As well as that lack of freedom we lack protection too.
At the age of 15, I’ve found that I am now more surprised when I speak to a woman who hasn’t been sexually assaulted in her life than when she has. Let that sink in. Children are having to spend their childhood trying to get over what someone did to them, dedicating their best years to healing and coping. On many occasions, they this heavy burden by themselves because they are ashamed. They won’t report it because they are made to feel to blame for something that was done to them.
To bring this into context, we all saw what happened to the little girl in Mitcham and everyone swore up and down that they would hate to see it happen to another woman. People were treating the issue with the seriousness needed and posting about how wrong it was. So tell me why then do I hear and see people in this very school, joke about such serious matters and use it to further show how weak women are? Tell me why I’m seeing people defend the same rappers who have sexually assaulted young girls and women? Did you know that 1 in 3 women experienced attempted or completed sexual assault in their lifetime?
Men, it is time to step up and take responsibility, because why should a woman be responsible for teaching you basic human decency? Boys, men, start calling out your friends’ casual insensitive and sexist jokes. Start shutting down forceful non-consensual behaviour when you see it. Times are changing and your behaviour is no longer validated by the phrase “boys will be boys.” Those hurtful comments about how she or he was dressing are not banter. You cannot disguise your verbal abuse as just a joke because to some, it’s triggering.
I can understand that it’s not all men, yes but enough men that all women are now terrified of most men. It’s enough men that refuse to recognise a woman space, and violate it. It’s enough men that dismiss the issue. It’s enough men. Too many men.
In light of international women’s day, I want you to start being yourself, unapologetically. Do not let a man define you. You are you. You are your own muse and the subject you know best. Nobody besides yourself can tell you who that is; but you don’t necessarily have to be sure of who that is right now. Just don’t let another person hold the power to decide. The second you do that is the second you are no longer living for yourself.
You don’t need validation from any man or anyone but yourself; you’ve got this. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than a woman just because you’re not a photoshopped Instagram baddie, or just because of your sexuality or gender identification , or because you haven’t had as many boyfriends or girlfriends as him or her.
Don’t compare yourself and waste time looking at other people’s blessings. Recognise your own. You are a blessing. Credit yourself. Your aura will shine so bright that the sun will envy you.
Every day is your first and last chance to fulfil every part of this experience which was gifted to you with a body to embrace, a mind to nurture and a life to love and live. So love yourself and heal; you cannot change who you are so accept and embrace it.
Estimate yourself highly, express your talents, let your energy shine and your aura radiate. You are perfect. You are whole, you are love and you are light. Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions because marriage and children is not every woman’s ultimate goal.
Always put yourself first, you’ll flourish and you’ll heal and you’ll realise that you were never the problem. You deserve the world. You deserve to be treated immaculately, listened to and respected. You deserve to be loved and cherished. You will not tolerate anything less than what you deserve. You are a high value goddess.
Always be ambitious and set high standards and never settle for less. Surround yourself with people who will support you through everything.
Remove the discomfort of being alone, you have your whole life ahead of you. Take some time and be everything you want to be.
Amazing things are waiting for you but only if you allow them into your space. Believe that you deserve the most. Trust in yourself because in the end, you are going to have everything you want.
Who knew 1 word of 5 letters could represent the battle scars of time? Who knew 1 word of 5 letters could bring life into this earth? Who knew 1 word of 5 letters could carry so much strength and power?
1 word of 5 letters; Woman.
Happy International Women’s Day!
Place of residence: Bristol,Uk
Favourite quote: “Sé quien tú quiere y necesita en tú vida” something I was told by someone which translates to “be what you want and need in life”
My one wish for the world: my wish for the world is that people whole heartedly live for themselves. The biggest thing we have in common is life so we should spend less time worried about other people and trying to be like them because it’s in trend, instead we should just live by our own terms.
Small bio: My names Tasha M. I’m still navigating my way through life but I just want to make a change however big or small so that my children don’t have to grow up in a world of hate. I also hope people will find solace and a sense of education in the words I write.